so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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