Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
