You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
is wine microwaveable?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
