Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
