Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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