gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
false alarm. still invincible.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
