i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
