the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
