Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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