Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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