Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
