I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
