He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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