my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
