can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
