She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
