i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
