first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
