You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
