are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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