walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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