Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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