would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
