I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
