Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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