yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
