some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Small penises have feelings too.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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