I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
