I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
