How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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