I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
this will be a night to untag.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Of course I have a pirate flag
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
