Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
