Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
