My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Sponge bath it is.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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