..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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