Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
