We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
