Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My pussy is not your playground.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
