Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
