R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
