discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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