Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
