he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
