so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
