Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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