I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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