he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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