Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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