great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
