i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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