He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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