In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
